Proverbs 13:15 says, "The way of the unfaithful [transgressor] is hard" (NIV). This means that the person (for our purposes on this post - the child) who is unfaithful or commits transgression should have the hard life...not the parent or other bystanders.

It is easy to become frustrated over your child's repeated wrongs. It might be the 24th day in a row when you have addressed some issue (without success) in their lives. And, these issues do not need to be major offenses, but can be simple things like :

• Don't scream at your sister
• Walk next to me in the parking lot (young toddlers)
• Eat with your fork, not your fingers
• Don't roll your eyes when I am talking with you
• Don't leave your shoes in the middle of the doorway
• Make your bed before coming out for breakfast
• Do your homework

As a parent, the key is not to let their wrongdoing push you to the point of exasperation. How does one do that?

One helpful phrase my wife and I use to encourage each other is this: The kid's wrongdoing should make their life frustrating, not ours. What do we mean by that? Well, if a child makes a mess at the table because he/she is eating with their hands and is doing so against the repeated instruction not to, it means I am not going to clean it up. Eight times of fixing a child's repeated wrongdoing frustrates me beyond ability. And, it shouldn't. Their wrongdoing should frustrate them.

The Bible says the way of the transgressor is hard, not the way of the innocent. So, as much as is reasonable, the wrongdoer needs to have some "skin in the game," so-to-speak.

I know this probably sounds elementary, but I often find myself slipping back into the mode of - "It would be so much easier if I just wiped up the mess they made rather than to let them do it and make it worse." However, every time I try and cut a corner on this principle, I find myself growing exceedingly frustrated.

It will take more calculated planning and patience on your part to carry out this plan, but in the end you will feel satisfied that the punishment has fit the crime, and that your grace is not being abused for the umpteenth time = frustration!!

One final word here...end these opportunities with the gospel. Tell your children that there is temporary and earthly consequences to their actions. Even highlight their current mood by asking things like, "You don't like the consequences of your actions right now, do you?"  But, the grace of God as seen in the cross of Jesus Christ stands ready to forgive and avert the eternal consequences of our sin. Share the beauty and grace of Jesus Christ. Tell them how they can have their sin-bill erased by faith in our Savior (Col 2:13-14). Share how Jesus willingly took our difficulty upon Himself so that we might be declared righteous.

"For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God" (2 Cor 5:21).

Pastor Kendall